The collective power of community

Circle the wagons, close ranks, show up and support.

These are words that have been swirling in my head for several months. When people need community, it can be a beautiful thing to see how it unfolds.

In the last few years, there have been families in our community who lost homes due to fire, had illnesses, or experienced a death or other tragedies. Neighbors, school friends and other community members came together with meals, fundraisers and donations.

Stepping up, reaching out and responding are often natural ways those around us find ways to help. This can be viewed as the use of community as a verb. An action such building something or responding to a need.

There is a collective power in togetherness. We are wired for human connection and that was made very clear during the early part of this decade when we were often separated from family and friends for an extended period of time. As a social worker, part of my hard wiring is community organizing. If I can’t organize it myself, I’m going to see if it exists and join it. Within my own profession, there is an initiative called the Grand Challenges with a mission to address societal issues. Building a stronger social fabric is one of them. Older adults are particularly vulnerable to loneliness and isolation as families are more spread out and they may not have local support. Finding community and connecting to resources is a social determinant of health and can quite literally impact health outcomes.

It is also important to note community can be built and rebuilt. Over the years, I have been part of various community groups and other organizations and places that provided a sense of community. This is where community is a noun.

I grew up in a community that had more shame and exclusion than inclusion. Once I left for college, it was a conscious effort to find my community. Through college and then graduate school, building connections was important to me, especially when I moved to a new state.

Sometimes community finds you when you least expect it.

When I entered the stage of life called parenting, after my oldest was born, I joined a mom’s group. Almost 23 years later, these wonderful women are still in my life with an annual dinner we may take weeks to plan, but it gets done. When I became a single mom with full custody for many years, I joined a parent group. Dinners, play dates at the park, sitting in someone’s backyard while kids played and holidays spent with one another were how I survived some hard years. The community I was able to create in those days sustained me. For the last several years, I have been a theater mom. The parents I’ve met and friends I’ve made while supporting my child’s passion have been immeasurable.

My dear friend Rebecca is a dancer. She was in marching band and part of school musicals as a teenager. As an adult, she’s traveled to judge dance competitions and reconnects with others she hasn’t seen in years. During the hands on parenting years, her boys played multiple sports. The community of parents who pull together, much like theater, to support their children may be temporary but very real. When it was senior night for her youngest son who was the quarterback, a group of us showed up to cheer…quite loudly I might add. She built a community who loved her and wanted to celebrate her child and his achievements.

Deciding to go into private practice was an easy choice but brought a sense of disconnect as I was on my own. Joining a practice community with other therapists and beginning to network, using a shared office space and connecting regularly through supervision became essential. Supervision is a part of lifelong learning and the monthly peer consultation group, individual supervision and socializing with friends who knew me at the start of my career (almost 30 years ago!) has been grounding. The collective wisdom that is shared and ability to provide feedback and support are hallmarks of this work.

Making connections and introducing people to one another is a passion. Just the other day, I attended a therapist event. In discussion with another therapist, bells started ringing as I started thinking of those she could connect with for the ideas she had. I quickly texted another therapist and boom, a connection is made. Community in action.

Doven Brezner, a lovely therapist colleaue, started a pop up friendship bench last summer just outside Philadelphia. She would sit on a bench in a designated park with paper that dissolved in water and a bucket. Folks could stop by, sit and chat, write down their thoughts and let them fade away. A beautiful concept to bring together strangers or be a presence for someone who may have needed it at that moment.

Several few years ago, I joined a yoga studio. My children were at an age where I could get out for a bit by myself and have some me time. A lifelong yogi, I was finally able to commit to a regular practice. My tiny studio has turned into another place where community was created. Socializing, even if it’s standing around after class, has meant so much that I decided to dive into yoga teacher training. Continuing to deepen my practice while also connecting with others and bringing yoga into the therapist space, remains the goal.

I have a dream to pick up knitting needles again. There is a group of women who meet at a local spot every week to knit. One day I will crash their party.

What brings you a sense of community?

Is it the annual or regularly schedule trip with childhood or college friends? Maybe it’s a faith community, neighborhood organization or your gym. Trail running/cross fit/hiking groups create community through a shared passion. Maybe it’s a professional organization, volunteering you do or a book club (I need a new one if anyone has a spot!). At its core, community is created or stumbled upon. Even the shyest introvert needs their people. Find your people and take a breath. You may surprise yourself.

Love,

Aunt Nicole

(Refer to the first blog post dated 9/29/2025 for the origins of Aunt Nicole :)